Why I cut my parents after they sat down my newborn baby

James* and Meg* have a daughter, Thalia, who just turned 9 months old.

“Two months ago, we stopped talking to my parents after they did some st,” the father explained at an AITA forum. “We basically decided that it will be up to Thalia when she grows up if she wants to get her ears pierced.

“I never thought it would be done as a child when they couldn’t accept, like Meg’s parents pierced her ears when she was a baby and she always hated wearing earrings. I still don’t wear any.”

But apparently, his parents “didn’t shut up” about doing it, insisting “she’d look really cool.”

James and Meg kept telling them that their decision was final, but his parents still decided to go against their wishes and arrange it themselves.

End of babysitting duties

James explained: “When they were feeding us one time, they got one of my mum’s friends to do it and we were so mad they went behind our backs.”

They ended up cutting off contact with their parents after doing so, which was a decision that many of their extended family didn’t agree with.

“Everyone said we were doing a great job and we can’t take them out of their granddaughter’s life for something like that,” he continued.

“So we decided they could only see Thalia when one of us was around and they wouldn’t be left alone with her.

“This is where everyone is still saying we’re making massive holes because we’re still punishing them for something that’s not a big deal and we’re treating them like children. Even Meg’s parents think that just allow them to have supervised visits is too much and they should be allowed to babysit or have Thalia alone in their home like before.”

The mounting pressure has gotten to the couple, so they’ve sought the advice of the internet: “Are we a-holes that we just don’t trust them with her alone and instead one of us is always there?”

“They are lucky to even be allowed to see it”

“I would never leave my child with them again,” read the top comment. “My mom cut off my daughter’s bangs and I lost her; this is a whole other level.

“What’s going to be the next thing they decide they know better? They’re lucky they’re even allowed to see it, honestly.”

“This is a medical procedure without parental consent; I 100% understand why you would get upset and cut off contact,” wrote a second.

“This is not a medical procedure,” someone else replied. “This is mutilation, without the knowledge or consent of the parents, and carried out by someone without a license (or so it seems). Honestly, a judge could give a restraining order on that, and jail time,” someone else replied.

Others said the extended family was just as wrong as James’ parents.

“I would consider going no contact with anyone who tells you it’s not a big deal; I wouldn’t leave my child alone with those people either,” someone added.

Another user advised: “Surrendering just shows them they can do it, you’ll be angry for a while and things will go back to normal. They knew your views on it, were told no many times, and yet decided to put your daughter through a procedure that changes a part of her body. It’s a hard no from me.”